so new years eve is just happening tonight since now i am blogging on
31st December 2009 7:14am

how exicted am i on our plans ?
honestly
veryvery :)

cant wait but hopes all goes as planned .

waking up in another 3 hours to get ready some stuff

and yeah babeh !
i got my new iphone 3Gs 32 GB ,

at last . waited for a month . damn !

everyone know how much i love this phone .

anyway , again baby jay not around to spend the new year with me .
sob sob ):

and sadly i have to work the next day .
1st of january 2010

awesome

christmas was great in a random pub in TTDI .
cant ever remember the name .
but wats great is we all had fun .

and there will be more fun coming up tonight .

cant wait


bye
sleep ZzZz



xx

yo yo . so i havent been uploading my blog.
lazy and also since its my off day so i guess i'll do something better .
but its dead now . dont think anyone reads it . but so what .
just wanna write things out .

so have been around . christmas , zen birthday and much much more .
have been back to the old life that is staying up until 6 am in the morning , doing random trips so genting and so on .

i like it . spice's up life.

so many things changed though .
jay still not back yet from his home . ):

kinda miss work actually . didnt think i would say that !
anyway no time to upload pictures. can see all on facebook :)
just two or three here :)




got to go

xx

<3

in case anyone is wondering what the hell happened to miss sunshine
she is all good.
just that i have been so so so busy this few months .
work work and work

and so i am very very shocked on how i lasted on this job till now
and still.....
oh god

so this job or can i say working took away a lot of my outside life.
friends drifted apart but at heart we are still together .
i spent so little time with any of them .

and the sad story of the month is jay is not here for a month ,
my baby is in his own country :(

happy that he's happy to see his family
but sad that he's not here with me .
so as most people know i stay with him
so now am living in his place without him . :(

and yeah . iphone 3gs 32gb cominggg sooon (;
already ordered just waitnggggg,
hate waiting for something i like (:

missss my mr jay sooooo much !
arghh ,













love you no matter where you are (;





bye

xx

so , i am so busy working now. FULL time .

life goes on the same .

so raya passed ,not actuually passed but the feel of it passed .

brothers birthday passed .

whats up next ?

i got no time for anyone since i work , not even myself .

so not me .

i had so much time for myself and BAM !*!@#$%^&*

there it goes .

no time to go out and play cause im exausted .

babyjay is still the same .

working too . our timing of working is so bad. i start from morning till night .

he starts from everning till after midnight .

by the time he's back i am asleep

i know ! shocking right .

miss chermaine teh sleeps before two am .

i do feel a bit more normal though .

now on my off day all i want to do is stay at home. go home and see my lovely daddy .

SO NOT ME ! i know .

what can i do. i miss home .

although i am no that far from home but it is too tiring to go home after work .

anyway , got to go for now.

will post up pictures soon :)

xx

i never want to choose anyone of you out.

i know who i keep in my heart and will not let them walk out and

will never walk away from those

and those who don't mean a thing to me .

her ;

you are a part of my life and you are family .

we have been through shit hell of a lot of up's and downs .

you have hurt me in many ways a lot of times but to let go

i think of all the good and tough times we spent .

you were there in my breakdown's , my nonsense ,

my coke effects , my up's ; downs

and

my loud laughing times .

you know who i am ;

you know me so well and what kind of person am i .

i love you for who you are and accept you.

him ;

i love you .

you walked in to my life as someone i love ;

i thank god for you.

all the things you did for me i know .

i know how much i mean to you and you mean the world to me.

you love to see me laugh and you hate to see me cry .

you make me laugh in so many ways i can't even describe.

you know what makes me smile .

i want to always be there for you .

i wan't to make you smile .

i love you .

she ;

i'll do anything for you ,

where ever you ask me to go ;

what ever you ask me to do .

the further we are apart ;

the more we drift away from each other .

i made sacrifices for you ;

sacrifices that i never have ever regretted or ever will .

i know what its worth to have you.

you are a friend and a family to me .

i don't wish to see us drifting apart .

it hurts more than you think it does .

just know that i will be there when ever u need me and you know it .

<3

i love you

merdeka day

eventhough its just the both of us but we had a lot of fun :)

sorry for the late pictures btw .
internet problem :(




xx

i hate u too much that i really want to tell u straight to your face but didnt have a chance to .

i want to meet up with you and tell u how much i hate you .

i can list a tons of things on why i FUCKING hate you so much .

how can you fucking forget where you come from ?

wasnt for me you wouldnt be where you are now !

you will just be a miserable fucker !

you stand out now and forget the people that used to be there for you no matter what

AND

after everything i did ;

you dont even fucking have the guts to call me anymore ;

OR

pick up my calls .

i just hate you so much ;

please disappear ;

woohoo <3<3>

watch two movies :)

two days in a row .

laughing gor and final destination 3D

watched laughing gor with ling ling &

final destination 3D with ling ling and jean . <3

now at her house blogging and watching tv.

later

xx

aku xleh tido lagi .

OH MY GOD!

so yesterday had a effin crazy night .

not as in that i went out and have fun ,

JUST THAT ,

me and jean were awake till 9 in the morning ;

we were so tired that our brains went crazy .

i am so freeking tired but i cant sleep.

i slept at 1am till 3 am . so that makes 2 hours

and i ter-wake up and couldnt sleep anymore .

until NOW !

this feelings sucks

going to the mamak soon to have the most awesome nasi lemak ;

xx

when you are next to me i feel the magic .
i love you for who you are and the fact that you love me
for who i am
you never tried to change me because you know that this is me .
you put me with me when i become all so irritating and
you try to make me happy when i am upset.
you'll think of all ways to make me happy.
you figure out funky jokes
and you protect me

i love you baby :)
<3



xx

so i haven't been blogging a damn long time :)

no internet ma !
and the place which has internet doesnt have the picture's i want to upload .
anyway ; now i am in jean's house

and my darling jay is at his place studying :)

picture's coming up soon :)




xx

just finish having dinner now :)

i just love home cooked food .

nothing out there in the world can compare to home cooked food .

the food you'll miss the most :)

mo matter where in the world you go you will definitely want it <3

now going out to yam cha man ! <3>

xx

i have so many pictures to upload but it's in the other computer :(

so that day we all went to karaoke :)

steph , ling ling , vivien , simon

joey and his girl .

liyana had to go home :(

but overall the session was awesome .

we had so much fun and everyone especially ling ling chau tut .

we were dancing to some songs :)

we all had a good time .

sadly we were all so hyper until we forgot to take pictures:)

now i am home waiting for dinner .

my baby's off day i went swimming again :)

but got sick

it's ok because it was freeking fun .

baby ; oreo and chocalate chip came along .

took meds and sleep now i am feeling fine .:)

anyway , want to go check if dinner's ready <3

xx

at last i get to go swimming :)

was freeking coooldd man the water <3

anyway , i lost my licence :(

have to go and make another one

don't know where and how but ....... :(

and merdeka was nice even though it was just me and miss jean ,

went over to 32 bistro bar . saw my mr jay the boyfriend .

so , mummy now has facebook :)

i was kinda shocked but its cool though ; lol

anyway , going to get some rest now ;

nothing really speacial or random happened ,

just the normal usual life :)

xx

just finish with my braces appointment :)

so sleepy *yawwwnn*

cant really sleep because i have to wake up at 2.30pm

so there so point sleeping for 1 hour .

damn , i don't know what to blog about :(

will think of something <3

will be back :)

xx

hellow :)

i just finished watching the movie Italian Job .
watched it again after a long time that i don't even remember the story line <3

so sad how some people wish to own a mini cooper and they are crushing it for the movie :(

people are up to study for their exams and i am not sleeping.

lept at 6am last night and woke up at 5pm .
too much rightttt :)
too used to it .
always planned to swim in the afternoon but
a big FAILURE :)

its ok .
the swimming pool is not going anywhere .


anyway , really going to try to get some sleep.
not sure if it's going to happen but will try hard :)

yawn*







xoxo

my heart never knew such pain ;



until i met you




i never felt this way ;

until you held my hand





i love you

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late





*broken strings*

last night ;
had a dream where you were in it

now i am here wishing you were not in it.
because ;
after that dream , it got me thinking about you
*which hurt so bad*

what a day :)

today's great but i know tomorrow's going to better :)
i hope so ;

now its just the sleepless nights time.

waiting for someone to come online .
how sad is that :(

sounds a bit desperate though ;









xoxo






try to sleep;
(not happening ; i know)




nitez

you give me the strength to believe ,
you show me a different view of love
show me that love can be seen not only in one way ;
but in many

you loved me for who i am and who ever i become .


i love you

i wanna go on a holiday :)
who wanna join ?


but where first ? lol

i just need a break ; a runaway trip.
sounds like i am so stress with studies or work but NOooOO. !

just need a holiday ; in da mood for relaxing some where else than HERE!



anyway ;
typical sleepless nights and i have to wake up at 8 .
how awesome is that ?


sigh just the way life is.



gotta at least get some rest if i cant sleep
:)






xoxo



nitez

today is our dear bob's birthday :)


happy birthday :) hope you enjoy <3

so days have been passing quite slow for me ;
dont know about the rest of you but yea ,


so today was bf's off day .
went to the movies with ling ling , simon and bf
watched G.I JOE
it was a nice show .


now has come to the time where i cant' sleep .

i've been having a bad week .
fcking bad i swear .!

accident two days in a row .
how awesome can it be ; and how can week be any better

fcuk the week .
so not happy .





thats it i need to say for now

no mood:(



xoxo

happy birthday darling ;


hope u had a great one ; &

sorry i couldn't be there


i still love you <3<3



xoxo

i am tired of searching what life is all about and what love is all about too

i know i will never stop searching <3




heartbreak isn't always like a bomb exploding . sometimes it can be a quiet a a feather falling .
and the most painful thing is no one can hear it , except you ):

we all do our daily routines everyday :)

some of us live so unhappily in the present and they are not going to be happy in the future
because they are stuck in the past.

forget what's in the past and move on like everyone else does.
see what's ahead of you not whats behind you .

do anything you feel like doing and do not look back .
dont want to live my life with all the regrets.




just wanna laugh about everyday :)




xoxo




dinner time <3

lin lin and chrys

happy me:)

my chao tut piglet <3<3<3

ling ling

blur pam :)

smile:)

my lovely daddy <3<3<3<3

my monster <3<3<3<3<3

who ?

you :

i love you for everything you are :)
you were there for me every moment of my life through my ups and downs ,
u support me and give me the courage to do things.
i appreciate you so much and i will treasure what we shared and we still have a lifetime to go through together :)

; i will always be there for you


you :

i love you no matter how much u do me wrong and no matter how much u turn your back on me
no matter how much u ditch me .
you support me when i am down and u laugh with me through my crazy times .
we have been through up's and down's and we fight through what ever that comes by .
i never once turn away from you no matter how many times u turn away .

; you know i will always be there

look so funny in this hair.
thank god just a wig

fascinating ?

<3

look so excited :)

looks so NOT excited

girls

my little piglet (",)

haven't been blogging due the lazi-ness and also was quite busy .

i have a lot of pictures but because now it's 5.30AM i am super duper lazy to upload it . :)

my little piglet went of to indonesia:(
gan's birthday was awesome :)
and daddy's birthday too :)

and earlier i went karaoke with cally , vivian , simon and cally friend
i miss the piglet choosing songs for me :(

i will go to sleep now and will upload the pics as soon as possible :)








love love

today is a tired day .

oh ya , fyi i missed my braces checkup appointment because i couldn't wake up
but i managed to wake up to call and postpone it .

so it's tomorrow but 2pm .
hope i dont miss it again this time .

so i woke up at 4pm today
got waken up by the piglet.
and we headed for subway :)
woohoo :)

then straight for dinner because last minute call from piglet's mummy
i was invited as well not self invite okay!
:)

then i went to collect my phone from the shop cause it'd broken but it's fine now .

then went meet up with SJN for karaoke session !
we headed to mano for our usual yam cha session :)

until 5AM . so so so tired.
BUT not sleepy again :(

what can i do at this time .
boriinngg !




try to sleep i guess:)








xoxo
night's

guess what ?
typical sleepless night :(
don't know whats wrong with me .
it's like i have a million things to think about , even if i have ;
i need a rest

and i have to wake up at 9.30 later which is 3 hours from now .
i am so so tired just not sleepy:(

i don't even know what to blog about now .
my mind is totally stuck !


thinking of what to do tomorrow after my braces >?

a brand new day with brand new plans .

sure yam cha yam cha yam cha wan la :)
aiyo la.

its like yam cha is programmed into our body
a everyday must routine



anyway ; got to go try harder to sleep :)




xoxo

tonight is the night afta so long i don't see my baby ;
that's also because i have my braces checkup appointment in the morning . :)

went to klang to celebrate Vivian's birthday .
drove down with kumanan in one car ; chrys in another and kg and pam in another .
the surprised worked a bit . :) but it was fine . will upload the pictures soon

i am so bored at home alone doing nothing . was home since 2am.
everybody is sleeping . hmph :(

even angel darling is sleeping . damn !






xoxo

i have not been busy ; i just have been pretty lazy to update .

i like writing on my blog its because i know i can look back and see what happened .
and sometimes laugh at myself. :)

so many birthday's coming up again :)

my aunt , then gan then my daddy (",)

presents after presents

means spending money . haha .
once a year ma.

i have been sleeping too late these few days . too much man .
12pm or earliest 7am .

sooo tirreedd!

i wanna sleep early ! help



got to go sleep now
(knows its not going to happen)








xoxo

when i sit here and think about what am i doing with my life ;
i don't know
when i think about whats the next step i should do ;
i don't know





theres so many things going on my mind .
i can't find the answer to one single thing .
i need to know .
everyday i spend all my time thinking of this .




i really don't understand .
maybe i wasn't meant to.








was i ?

i am here now for a reason and i believe that
i really thank god of where i am now ;
he gave me life .

whatever happened after that is all made by human choices
i do not blame god for anything that happened .
i blame myself .
nobody could control the life i lead.
nobody but myself.

even where i am now is what i choose .
and i am glad of the choices i made in life .
maybe not in all form .

i am glad because i wouldnt be where i am now if i choose another path .













-you give me strength to believe-

just some of my other cam whore pictures:)